Are You Serious?! Barret Went Hiking?! Like, On Rocks and Stuff!

I sure did. You have probably guessed that I am not an out-doors kind of guy, and if you didn't then you must think I'm an Eagle Scout. Which I am, lol, but I still don't like rugged life very much.

Yet, I used my many skills I got from my badge to do this:

That is me, risking my life on a 70 degree slope. Intense stuff. And no ropes, either!

Moe and I decided we wanted to go somewhere to watch the sun set over Provo since we had such beautiful weather. We tried driving up to Squaw Peak, but alas, the road we tried to use was closed. So, we drove over to Rock Canyon Park, walked up a trail, and then climbed up to a rock ledge that over looked the valley.

It was beautiful. We watched the sun go down and then observed the lights of the valley. Way fun, I must say.

Courtesy of Moe, we have these pictures. Many photography opportunities available from this ledge to those intersted.

Climbing up, however, was a bit easier than climbing down. Especially since we spent about an hour and a half or two hours up there.

It was dark when we tried to climb down. So that made it pretty hilarious. And kinda scary, not gonna lie.

This picture is me trying to get down. As you can see, the only light provided in this picture is Moe's flash. It was not too dark that we could not see anything, but dark enough.

However, it was quite an enjoyable "hike." I do believe I have found a favorite place to go now.

All photograpy here was done by Moana Parker. Loves her!

I Love to Edit Papers, But Not If You Can't Handle a Criticism That One Sentence Can't be 7 Lines Long.

Seriously. I really do like to edit papers, so if you want another reader for anything you have to turn in just let me know. In the most non-conceited way, my teacher for my Honors 150 Writing class just told me I make very good critiques and such. So yeah, send them on!

Unless you are like this kid that I just edited a paper for.

We do group critiques for Honors 150 before we turn papers in, and we just wrote research papers on whatever topic that is interesting to us. Mine is on the Causes of Narcissism (dum dum dum, oh yeah, I'm a psychology major), but this person ,who will remain unnamed so that it doesn't haunt my possible political career later in life, wrote on the advantages of private companies and space travel.

And that's fine. I'm all for Trekies writing on what they love. However, if I am to look over your paper and tell you what I think, I am not going to argue with you about stupid things you can't handle others telling you. Such as, when we say, "You use the word propulsion about four times in the same sentence, but in different ways. You should try to think of other synonyms that could be used instead so it is not distracting," do not shoot back "Well it's the only way I can say it!"

Seriously. All I heard from this guy was, "Most people just won't understand my research because it just goes over their heads anyway," or "Well I can't cite it because if I do, I'll have to quote the entire three-page long proof." What are you talking about?

No, last time I checked, you are writing this paper so others will understand. Stop trying to sound like you have a doctorate in physics, you're just a Trekie in a Freshman writing class. And that second quote just doesn't even make sense. No wonder his paper was jsut generally awful.

I should have known in the beginning. With his these statement that was one long, seven-lined sentence, it was going to be tough. Also, it came at the end of a paragraph that was over a page long. Really? Are you serious with this?

People need to be able to take criticisms without thinking others are just attacking their very soul. Quit being defensive, we're trying to help you get a better grade.

Normally, I'm not this annoyed or critical of another person, but he was just ridiculous!

Anyway, I really do like editing papers. So, if you want help with one, just send it to me and I'll tell you what I think.

If You Ever See Me With a Daily Universe, It'll Be a Wednesday to Read About BYU Weekly Crime.

Yes, it's true. The only reason I'll read the BYU newspaper on a regular basis is for Police Beat. This is the weekly summary of the juiciest crime on campus. And let me tell you, BYU get can get pretty devious.

Actually, it's probably the most ridiculous thing you can read. Seriously, it's a campus with a bunch of Mormon crazies. That, or it's people who actually live in reality and if they want to do something criminal, they know how to get away with it. The BYU police probably does not have much experience with organized crime...but that's just a guess. For some reason, I think most of their experience lies in slowing down speedy guys on bikes or telling a kid who wear a cloak and sings that he's distrubing the peace.

Every so often, we'll get a really juicy one like this:

"A female student was cited for shoplifting in the BYU Bookstore. The student stole $3.69 worth of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. When asked why she stole them she said that she thoguht they were overpriced. When searched officers found $72 in cash on her person."

Really? That's all you've got? Seriously, I bet that same day someone was sneaking a triple combination out the door, or maybe slipped a new CTR ring in their pocket. This girl must've been hella dumb for not being able to get away with freaking candy. Not that I'm advocating crime, because I'm not and am glad she got caught, but she just sucks at crime lol.

She'd probably have turned herself in a couple days later anyway.

A couple of my other favorites for the week follow here with commentary.

"A student called BYU police when she ntoiced three suspicious males walking around a parking lot. When police responded they determined that the suspicious males were actually grounds crew who had been picking up trash."

Ok, this girl thought these three men were suspicious? They were picking up trash. She must have an awful case of paranoia if three guys picking stuff off the parking lot are suspicious to her. Wrappers and empty Sprite bottles are exceesively dangerous if used in a criminal setting, but Heaven forbid that she would see them pick up a caffiene Coke can! I'm sure she'd have a heart attack.

So, I was trying to decide which is better for my last one, but they're both great so I'll let you decide.

"A resident of Heritage Halls called BYU police to report a group of men playing basketball and listening to loud music at 12:30 am. BYU police told the men to stop playing and go to bed."

Because your basketball skills and (probably) hip rap music are spiritually harming some innocent soul on a Friday night. We all know it's illegal to play basketball after 10:00pm anyway, because that is the same time that everything closes in this Happy Valley.

"A male student posted fliers on female dorm halls asking for dates to satisfy a dating requirement for his marriage preparation class. The fliers not only violate BYU policy but were disturbing female residents. Police discovered that the student was not enrolled in that class and the professor he said he had has retired."

I this guy is hilarious. That's a funny idea, and I'd love to be there when he tells his dates that he's really not in class and is just desperate. Then again, he could just go to BYU speed dating for people who can't get dates. After all, the slogan there is "Meet people who are in your same situation." Yes, please. Acquaint me with others who cannot get dates either. We'll all be desperate together.

I also wondered why it would violate BYU policy to post fliers to ask for dates. I think I figured it out, though. Ask one girl on a date, date her exclusively, then temple. ASAP. We don't have time for trying others out.

I Know It's Rather Late to Mention This, But I'm Still Quite Upset That "Rehab" Beat "Umbrella"

Seriously, "Rehab" has nothing on "Umbrella" for best new song or whatever. And, while I try to be grammatically correct on this blog, I don't want to type out those quotation marks anymore. So, I won't.

But yes, I was rather surprised when crackhead took home all those grammies. Especially when she wasn't even there and half the time is in no condition to perform since she's slipping under the influence.

Like, really Amy? Really? You only need to watch the first minute of this minute to see.



What the crap is she saying?

Don't get me wrong, I do like Amy. But for real, she needs to quit listening to her own songs and take a sober person's advice.

My main argument about why Umbrella should have won is that all sorts of people did covers of it, it was played so often, and really is just an amazing song. Rihanna, Scott Simmons, and even this band sang it at their concert:



Yes, that is My Chemical Romance, live, singing Umbrella. It's a wide range of genres covering this fantastic song.

And Rehab is okay, but I don't think it's as high quality. Yeah, I know it basically came out of Winehouse's journal, but whatever.

Umbrella wins in my book. So there. Take that, Academy.

"No one has made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little."

I attended the Hunger Banquet last Friday, and my brother John came with me. And I must say, many people here need to attend it. It puts so much in perspective; I love it.

When we got there, they randomly sorted us into either high income (greater than $9,000 a year per capita), middle income ($911-$9,000 a year per capita), or lower income (less than $911 a year) according to real world proportions. I was placed in the largest group, the lower income. We sat on the floor. Middle income got chairs, and the high income (which you are in if you are reading this on a computer) got chairs, tables, place settings, etc.

For dinner, the low income were given plate with 6-8 tortillas, some beans and rice to a group of about 10 people. Oh yes, and half a glass of water to each person. No utensils, napkins, or anything.

It was very humbling to see that more than half of the entire world population (I think it's about 60%) lives in such conditions. They do not have even have any of the luxuries we enjoy. I would report what the middle and high income groups were served, but I was on the floor and could not see.

Low income is 60% of the world, middle is 25%, and high income is 15%. I heard a statistic once that if you have more than one pair of shoes, you are in the top 10% of wealthiest people in the world.

Part of me would like to do a field study now just to see these conditions in real life and see what I can do to help. I did join a joint club between BYU and UVSC (soon to be UVU) for promoting peace in Darfur. So we'll see where that goes.

There was entertainment from the Spanish Fork Hare Krishna temple that I thoroughly enjoyed. They played tranditional Hindu/Indian songs as well as offered prayers. Also, a dance that I saw last semester was performed that I love called "The People's Evolution." Amazing work. And a mariachi band performed as well.

Oh yes, and the infamous Dr. Valerie Hudson addressed the attendees as the keynote speaker, and she's always amazing. She discussed the condition and role of women in correlation with raising government standards, ethics, and general living standards as a whole. It was very interesting.

And I'm sure I bored you a great deal today, but I thought it was fascinating and had a great time. I'll close this blog with two of my favorite quotes that I heard at the Hunger Banquet.

"Refuse to be a victim. Refuse to be a perpetrator. Refuse to be a bystander."

"No one has made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little."

Ending an Exam at 12:00 Is Good for Tripping Up Students that Don't Memorize the Syllabus

Honestly, I do not understand the policy where professors may choose to have their last exam administered in the middle of the day.

Why? Are you serious? I don't see and reasoning behind it. Except to trip people who don't read the syllabus every day of their lives.

I guess skipping my daily syllabus reading got me in this. I missed my World Religions exam because, unknown to me, he made the deadline noon. I arrived at the testing center at 3:30 ready to ace Sikhism through Shinto to find out that No. You did not do your daily syllabus exercises. Last exam at 12:00. Screwed.

I love this class, but seriously. At least he provides re-tests for people not happy with their grades for the first two tests. A 0 is a bit sub-par for me, so I guess I'll re-test it.

I did email him, but I think he'll just tell me to do that. Oh well, more study time I guess.

Testing Center is dumb. I like the concept of being able to take a test for a few days and in your own schedule so it does not get in the way of class, but they have all these weird rules. Ending some tests at noon is a great idea because.....................yeah. Oh, and charging $5 for taking some tests on the last day makes sense because...................oh yeah! You're paying $5 for studying more!

Money = study = better grade maybe. That means Money = better grade. Honor Code, is that right? Something seems a bit like....bribery. But never mind, you're the expert on all things moral and right.

Kathy Griffin is Hilarious, but I Can't Decide What Celebrities Think of Her

It's late, and I'm rambling.

I love Kathy Griffin. I think she is a hilarious comedienne, and I really like the commentary she gives on the celebrity community.

While she exaggerates her stories, I find that she is pretty real in her evaluations of them. I think she is gaining a large fan base because it is easy to connect with since she doesn't pamper celebrities in her act and doesn't seem to "fear" them. She says what she thinks, the way we as "not famous" people say in our homes, and since it's the same we love it.

Example, Ryan Seacrest. I don't like that guy at all. I find him to be annoying, not talented, and I'm not really sure why he's famous or hosting American Idol with no singing credentials. And AH HA! Kathy hates him! And she hates him for the same reasons (with the added bitterness from when he ripped her top open on an awards show, but whatev). And Paula Abdul, Kathy called her out in her act for being totally wacked out on drugs while filming American Idol. It's actually a pretty funny clip, so I'll embed it here. The video afterwards is a clip of Paula drugged up on Idol :D





For the record, I don't like American Idol. It is a mean show. However, you'll find me watching So You Think You Can Dance as soon as the openning episode for this season airs.

And I still love/miss black people. Here's a cute clip of a black baby (who are the cutest babies on the planet, and that means a lot coming from me because I tend to not be a fan of kids) giving the evil eye.

Tracy Chapman is Amazing and Makes Me Want to Be a Philanthropist

And that title wasn't meant to be funny like some others ones on here, lol.

I love Tracy Chapman, as I have mentioned before. Right now I've been studying geology because I have an exam I need to take tonight, but sometimes I get distracted because I somehow find my fingers taking my computer to Youtube to watch Tracy sing in videos. And then I can sit there for hours just clicking on all of them.

I don't really have time right now to put up a blog of much substance because I need to get back to studying (and by that I mean Tracy Chapman on youtube is calling), but I wanted to share this video to anyone who may read this. I had not seen it until just now, and I love it.

Charity Back in the Twin Cities

If you're from back home, you really need to check this site out:

myspace.com/monroehelpinghands

It's a myspace account dedicated to promoting and raising awareness about local charities in the area.

I am so happy that this site is up. I feel proud to know the people who are starting this organization.

And, as far as I am able to tell, they are:

Alanna Coon



Lauren Broadway



Celine Coenen



Jessica Bostic, my best friend :)

Apparently China's Ego and Self-esteem Are Fragile

I was just going around checking my daily websites, myspace and facebook and such. When I logged into AOL I noticed a headline that caught my attention.

"Bjork Broke Chinese Law?"

And I thought to myself, "Oh dang, what eccentricities are unacceptable in China...?"

I went on to read the article. She was performing in Shanghai on March 2 (last Sunday), and apparently at her concert she dedicated her song "Declare Independence" to Tibet. She knew, I'm quite sure, that her dedication would be controversial. But I know she didn't know that she would get this reaction from the Chinese Minister of Culture:

"[Bjork] broke Chinese law and hurt Chinese people's feelings."

Seriously? She hurt your feelings?

Is this coming from the same government that sought to completely alter Chinese culture? Communist indeed.

So now they are considering tightening restrictions on music artists that are allowed to perform in China, and Bjork may face being banned from China completely. I may be sounding too American, but dang, cry me a freaking river, Chinese government, for having an idea introduced in your country that may be contrary to what propoganda you want in and what you want out.

In fact, Mao would be ashamed of you right now! You should never have let her perform in the first place! GAH! New ideas NEVER contribute to progress or change, EVER. Get it together, China. Good-NESS.

Here is a link to her song. She has also dedicated it to the new independent state Kosovo. You can listen by pressing one of the play buttons by an entry in the list of songs. http://search.playlist.com/tracks/bjork%2520declare%2520independence

(All information on this came from this article http://www.spinner.com/2008/03/08/bjork-broke-chinese-law/ )

I'm Going to Be Honest with You, Utah Is Not Ghetto-fabulous

Obviously.

The reason - there are no black people. Okay, well there are some. Not enough, though. I heard a statistic from a black friend the other day that at BYU, a school of over 30,000 undergraduates, there are 158 African Americans. And I know that about half of them are really from Africa.

I want ghetto booty! I freaking miss black people, especially girls. The hilarious big sista's, the skinny ones with attitude, and the older sweet black ladies.

Utah would have no flavor except for what I have deemed the New black for the area: Polynesians. That's right, polies. They can be just as fantastic.

But I miss my Lakeisha's and Kimyatta's and Shanigua's. Oh, and Latoya's.

Nobody is Utah can move it like these girls.



Dey iz black as hell.

But yes. I miss black people! And their ghetto booties!

Arson at a Bon Fire Earns About.....No Cool Points

I went to see the movie Mad Money today. It was a really good movie, and it starred Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah, and Katie Holmes (I think), the first two of whom I am a huge fan. I certainly recommend it.

After returning to my apartment, Moe and I decided to tag along with some people from the ward (for non-Mormons, that is a set congregation at an LDS church) that were going to have a bon fire. I really wasn't excited, but decided to go anyway because a) I didn't feel like doing my laundry and b) I haven't been to a bon fire yet this year and figured I should just to say I went.

The first location was blocked off, so we ended up going to some cabin resort area in the canyon and they built the fire on couple feel of semi-packed snow. And by semi-packed, I mean it was hilarious to watch the group ahead carefully step on the surface with a random one or two dropping knee deep. I could probably watch it all day, especially if one of them is wearing sandals. True story.

So we were there, and I must say we witnessed some of the most retarded things. The winner was the idiot that decided it would be cool to toss the bottle of lighter fluid into the fire with the remaining fuel still inside. Smart, guys. We're all huddled around a fire, and you want to earn your nightly cool points with arson and waste. Oh, and pollution from the melting plastic. Then I remembered I'm in a freshman ward, and some people may not have had sufficient frontal lobe developement to understand that this is a bad idea, and no one will laugh or think you are as hot as you apparently think you are. But anyway, they tossed it in, the fire suddenly grew, everyone jumped back, and I feared for my hair for a second (hairspray).

And then this idiot tries to explain to us that there was no reason to be afraid because it was impossible for the plastic bottle to explode from the lack of pressure. Shut up, wigger. We know. Regardless, a mass quantity of lighter-fluid in a bon fire is not a good idea if everyone is standing close to the fire, especially when everyone will be tripping over the snow to avoid getting their eye brows singed.

People this weekend basically annoyed me, so that's why I may sound more cynical than anything. It'll get better though, promise, lol.

Mmm..... eating a thawed out, pre-cooked chicken teriyaki breast is a delicious midtime snack. The outside burns your mouth, yet the inside is perfectly frozen! Happy mediums are certainly not desireable at this hour.

I love Tracy Chapman. Certainly, she is one of my all-time favorite music artists. And I love this video of her singing, so you should watch it. Love.

A Girl Sitting On the Ground Outside My Window Will Result in Sexual Intercourse. Definitely.

Last night at 2:00am, as I sat at my computer completely frustrated about my psychology essay about anything in the DSM-IV or encyclopedia, Moe wanted to recount a story to me that may be found on her blog (see link).

She did not have a phone to call, however, and did not want to type it all out through messenger. So, she came to my window, I openned it, and she sat outside on the ground while we laughed hysterically for about 15 minutes. After she left, I returned to my desk to write my essay (that ended up just summarizing the broad areas of psychology and opportunities within the field) and soon recieved a text that one of my roommates was upset because it sounded as though a girl snuck in my room in the middle of the night.

*GASP* Heaven forbid that there would be a girl in my room after midnight! And that you would be upset about it because it is completely your business.

No, I actually did not break the Honor Code. The opposite sex was not in my room, not in the apartment after midnight, and there was nothing inappropriate happening. Because you know me, I love those sexual rendez-vous in the middle of the night with Moe where we laugh about clogged toilets. Take your self-righteous attitude (and your awkward use of profanity, for that matter) elsewhere. I don't have time, and I'm not having it.

Seriously. I'm at a university, not a summer camp. I don't need all of these ridiculous rules to keep my pants on. Self-control, people. I hope this bubble pops.

Personally, I think there should be a reality show for people who graduate from BYU and move somewhere far away that follows their reactions. That would make bank. MTV, where are you?

Or maybe that's just me being slightly cynical.

Blackboard Has Issues and Diesel Should be Sold at Saks

For my Psych 101 (Orientation to the Psycology Major) class, I'm supposed to write a a paper for the midterm. The subject is...

Anything.

Anything that has to do with psychology is fair game. Can I say, I hate when professors assign that. They think it's a fantastic idea because the student can write on some interesting subject. But no! The student then just doesn't know what to write about. There has to be a slight description.

So, I went on blackboard to check the criteria again, just to make sure that there was nothing special about the topic. Of course, the link from blackboard does not work. Basically I have a paper I need to write tonight that can be on anything in psychology and cannot access the rubric to know if I need to quote/cite sources or just write whatever I feel like or how long or anything. Because freakin' Blackboard will never be fixed or updated again. Ever. The school recommends downloading Firefox because of the issues Blackboard has with Internet Explorer, and something about the university obviously knowing that this program sucks (for lack of a better term) just makes me tilt my head. Fix your issues!

And I have decided that diesel is the new liquid gold. I drive a turbodiesel Mercedes, and its fuel's price is set at $3.65 a gallon! Hmm.... if I hold 20 gallons in my car, that will be over $70.00 dropped just to fill a tank full of gasoline-production by-product. I know diesel is a cheap fuel to produce; quit gouging us!

Every time I visit the pumps, that's another pair of jeans or couple albums that I'll be running my car on.

Thanks, OPEC and the falling dollar.

Testimony Bingo, It Gets You Up in the Morning, or Maybe Just After 12:00.

I now have a blog that is off of MySpace.



Originally, I just created an account so I could read one of my friend's blog, but then I just figured I might as well write.



I'm not writing an introduction because if you're reading this, you should know who I am. If you don't know who I am, I don't really care if you don't know what I'm talking about.

This past Sunday was the first one of the month, and that means the best sacrament meeting for two words: Testimony Bingo.

It is this event that outweighs my issue with waking up at the crack of noon to dress up for three hours of church. I don't mind listening to people's testimonies anyway. Some are the cliché girl that loves her roommates with every sickening fiber of her being; some have interesting stories of some trying time in their life or the latest sin they committed; and others just make fools of themselves telling a story that shouldn't be mentioned in sacrament meeting. Oh yes, and the quotes that strike the congregation with the church giggles. I may have to endure a sermon that I didn't ask for (because those should be reserved for the other 3-4 Sundays of the month), but if they grab a tissue and start crying, just watch the back row mark off a sqaure "Tears."

Anyway, I love it. Some of my personal favorite squares that either always appear in my card or I just found out about so they'll make an appearance soon are "Inappropriate story," "Thankomony," "Reads a hymn," or "Refers to a sick relative, friend, or pet."

I'm sure most wards outside of the Happy Valley Bubble are not as cliché as the BYU 47th, but just bring a bingo card just in case because you never know, that meeting may start lasting longer than you rear can handle the peu.